First post, wherein I espouse the merits of my new religion

It's been about 3 years since Reagan died, so I think it's time to base a religion around him. I know the Republican Party has already started doing this, but I'd like to make it official. Naturally, the central deity would be Ronald Reagan. His undead spirit still roams the Earth, visiting judgement upon those that claim to follow his ways. The Spirit of Reagan is a fickle and unpredictable figure, and his actions can be hard to percieve and decipher. He is the geriatric manifestation of chaos theory. Naturally, this leaves room to ascribe any event or non-event to the whims of Reagan. Of course, any religion needs a mythology, and the Church of Reagan is no different. The holy text here is Reaganawesome!: How One Man Defeated the 1980s, co-written by R.L. Stein. In it, the stories of Reagan's life are told in the form of extended metaphors and hyperbole. For example, here's a passage about the Challenger disaster: "While the crowd was easily distracted by the sight of burning rocket fuel, the Great Communicator grew bored and listless. Suddenly, narrowing his haunting blue eyes, he emitted a blinding laser blast which immediately destroyed the spaceship. While the crowd stood aghast, their attention quickly focused on the 20 foot giant in their midst. 'Let that be a warning to Mr. Gorbachev that my Star Wars is no lie!' And then, an angel flew down and handed Him a comb with which he reshaped his divine hair." I'll let this post serve as a teaser, but rest assured, there will be more to come. May The Spirit of Reagan Smile Upon You!